


The Morning After

by MassEffectUnknownRP (AmazingName)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: D/s, DomTali, F/F, FemShep/Tali
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2011-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:13:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingName/pseuds/MassEffectUnknownRP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning after Tali and Shepard have first have sex proves awkward. But not awkward enough, apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> This is a condensed Tumblr RP. As such it has two authors, one of which is myself.

**\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali had wanted to stay with Shepard all night, but the fact of the matter was that humans slept too much. At most she needed to sleep six hours a day, and her biology would never let her get it all in one setting. So she stayed, laying awake in the faint echo of Shepard’s snoring for over an hour before drifting off to sleep as well. The Nerve Stim Pro de-activated itself as soon as her brain waves quieted for sleep. When she woke up almost three hours later she lingered, silently activating the program again so she could feel Shepard’s warmth and weight against her. She always had some sensation through the suit. It was necessary for survival. But the warmth of the atmosphere, or of a person pressed tight against her, was a luxury.

After an hour she turned the program off and slid carefully from the bed, pulling down one of Shepard’s pillows and fitting it against her to replace the shape of her body. Staring down at Shepard in the dark she felt all the anxiety and panic she should have been feeling the night before rush to the surface. Keelah, what had she done? What about Garrus? What about Liara? She had screwed everything up because she could not control herself. Because of a childish case of hero worship and hormones… or something. Keelah, she was in so much trouble.

The panic welled up inside her until she could not bear it anymore and she turned to leave, grateful that the door opened without question. As always, the elevator was slow, but this morning it seemed eternal. An eternal hell. Tali just wanted to get some place that no one would look for her. She should return to her post in Engineering, but she did not want to. Her stomach complained about its emptiness, but she ignored it as the elevator stopped at the CIC. It would be fairly empty at this time of day. Probably just Joker, and as long as she stayed away from the cockpit he would never notice her.

She stepped through the elevator doors and turned to the right, following the marked path around the Galaxy Map. Everything was just too much right now, so she slid into one of the console seats that lurked in the shadows and tapped at the console to activate it. A quick flourish of key presses got her access to the engine systems and she began to remotely operate the scans she needed to run. It would be better to be at her post, but she just might shoot Ken if he made a crack at her today so it was best to stay away.

Besides, Shepard had said she was going to talk to Jack; which meant at some point she would be down in Engineering and Tali was not sure what to say. She had made such a mess of things. What about Garrus? What would he think of her after they had almost… almost done whatever it was they had been about to do. She felt guilty, knowing that what had happened with Shepard would not have happened with Garrus, even if Jack had not come out of Miranda’s quarters at precisely the wrong moment. Garrus did not know what to do. She had only minimal more knowledge than he did. And she had seen the look on his face when he realized just what kind of barrier her suit was to him.

A week ago she would have shot him for what he did. Right in… his turian genitals. But last night… Keelah when had she started to feel that way about Garrus? And why had she not known the way she knew with Shepard? Her confusion spiralled slightly and she lost her focus on the scans, slumping back in the chair and staring down at her now idle hands. Everything was a mess.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard climbed back up from down below engineering still thinking about what just went on. She sighed when she reached the top.

She should go speak to Tali. Obviously. 

“EDI, where’s Tali?”

“ _Tali’Zorah is in the CIC, Commander._ ”

“Thanks.”

The elevator took forever as always and Shepard stealthily navigated Kelly to avoid getting into a conversation she  _really_  didn’t want to have to get through without revealing things. It took her a few minutes, but finally she found Tali, tucked away at the back. Hiding.

“You can run but you can’t hide,” Shepard quipped. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali squealed loudly and jerked around, one hand flying to the shotgun she was never not carrying.  The sound died immediately on her lips when she realized it was Shepard. A blush rose to her cheeks and she pulled her hand away from her shotgun.

“Oh… Shepard.” Such a clever answer, Tali, she scolded herself. “You startled me. I’m… I’m not hiding. I’m running scans on the engines.” It was a lie, and she knew Shepard knew it too. Keelah she had put herself in what might just be the only situation she had no clue how to handle. She could not shoot the situation. Or Shepard, for that matter.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Liar.” Shepard rolled her eyes. “You’re hiding and you know it. I would be too if I wasn’t the commander and instigator.”

She sighed and scuffed her toe against the floor. “We should probably talk about last night. Somewhere… private. Do you want to?” She wondered if Joker could hear their conversation from his vantage point. Or Kelly. This was going to get worse before it got better. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“Yes,” she mumbled and stared down at the floor. Tali had known she would have to talk to Shepard eventually, but had been silently hoping eventually would come later rather than sooner. She glanced up slightly, taking notice of the fact that Kelly was trying to watch them without being caught. Plus, there was the possibility of Joker noticing and becoming curious. And it was the CIC. Anyone could walk through here.

“Yes. Somewhere private is better.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Come on.” Shepard lead Tali through to the conference room, then she turned to EDI. “EDI, disconnect all monitoring devices in this room for one hour and stop monitoring, yourself.” 

“ _Yes, Shepard. Disconnecting_.”

Shepard leaned against the table and looked Tali over. “How are you feeling? You haven’t gotten sick or anything, have you?” That had been her first thought when she woke up - oh god, did Tali get ill from that? - after all, she’d been in direct contact with Shepard’s bodily fluids, but she figured Chakwas would have let her know if, indeed, Tali had come in sick, so she’d left it. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali was relieved they weren’t returning to Shepard’s quarters. This was embarrassing enough without returning to the scene of her crimes. Shepard’s worry made her feel a little better, but also a little worse. Where was this going? The uncertainty certainly made her feel ill. But so did the slight fever she was running.

“No. I’m fine Shepard. Thank you.” Tali was not about to report to Chakwas and have to explain what had happened. A mild fever would not kill her; she got them all the time. No one even needed to know. She moved around the room nervously, trying to put space between them.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Tali, stop pacing. Please. You’re killing me here.” Shepard reached out without thinking and caught Tali’s wrist, tugging her over towards the table. Towards Shepard.

She had no idea what to do or say now. Last night, everything made perfect sense. It was all… perfect. It really was. It was gentle and, hell, it was loving. It all felt so right and then this morning… 

Suddenly, reality was there: Liara. Garrus. The fact Tali could have died from last night if something had gone wrong. The fracture this could cause in the crew if it got out, if Garrus found out. The fact Shepard really does have  _feelings_  for Tali, the kind of feelings that tell her if it weren’t for everything else? She’d be riding off into the sunset with this quarian girl, suit or no suit. She wouldn’t even care. 

Except, she loved Liara. Really loved Liara. The kind of burning, desperate love of Liara she couldn’t ignore or push aside. Sex and feelings were one thing, but the idea of letting Liara go… She felt sick all of a sudden. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali gave into her tug at first and then resisted, planting herself with a solidity that was deceptively firm given her small size and vaguely waifish appearance. She was more than a little afraid of getting too close to Shepard right now, of not being able to resist the urge to touch her again. Everything was raw in a way it had never been before.

Ever since she left the Flotilla she had hated her suit for cutting her off from the world, for ensuring that she would never truly be part of it. She had genuinely envied other species their inherent vulnerability to each other. Only volus lived in suits like her, and every volus she had met was little more than a pudgy bag of prejudice and money laundering.

She would have never thought she would feel so… exposed while still in her suit. It felt like her insides where her outsides, as though her insecurity and her emotions were visible to the entire world. Despite her best efforts, it crept into her voice, sounding for all the world like sadness.

“Shepard… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt anyone… I’m sorry.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard’s mouth fell open a bit and she gaped openly at Tali for a long moment. “Tali, what on earth are you apologizing for?” She stood, determinedly, and walked across to stand right in front of her, scared the girl would bolt or just refuse to look at her. 

“Assuming there was fault - which there wasn’t - nothing that happened last night was your fault.  _Nothing_ , you hear me?” She wanted to reach out and touch, but she resisted. “I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to and neither did you. And  _you_  last time I checked are free and single. Unless you and Garrus got married when I wasn’t looking.” 

She sighed. “I know it’s a bit messy. I have Liara, you’re interested in Garrus, who is going to shit a brick when he finds out what happened last night, but last night was special, Tali. Nothing is ever going to change that. I won’t let it.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali almost took a step back when Shepard came to a stop in front of her, but made herself stay put. She did refuse to look at her though, dropping her head down and to her right. Looking at her was just too much right now. Tali’s hands clenched nervously at her side.

“It is my fault, Shepard. You said it yourself, you didn’t know. If I hadn’t said anything… ” Garrus. Keelah! Garrus was going to do more than ‘shit a brick’ - whatever that meant. What if he went after Shepard? She’d done enough looking into turian mating habits to know they could be very possessive. So could humans. She didn’t fancy Garrus’s chances if it came to blows. Oh what had she done.

“It… it was special. I had never… I don’t know what I’m doing Shepard and I’m just making everything worse.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Tali, I wouldn’t change last night for the world. Please, stop making it sound like we committed some horrible crime. Please.” 

She sighed and looked away for a moment. “I don’t… I care about you so much, Tali. Last night was amazing and something I’m going to treasure forever. You’re not making things worse, but I’m as much in the dark as to where we go from here as you are.”

She scratched her neck. “It’s probably a good job you snuck out on me this morning, I was all but planning round two.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali finally looked up at Shepard, touched by her words. Shepard didn’t regret it and she felt the need to make sure Shepard knew she didn’t either.

“I wouldn’t either, Shepard. You… you were my first… ” Tali blushed darkly at the admission, although she was fairly certain everyone believed she was a virgin anyway. The idea that Shepard might not know what to do was a complete blindside though. As well as she knew her, she was still The Commander Shepard. A war hero. Savior of the Citadel. Shepard was a person to Tali, but so much more. Her own personal, real life hero. How could she not know what to do?

Then she caught Shepard’s last comment.

“I… you… that’s not why I left but you… would do it again?”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard knew she was Tali’s first, but hearing the words made it more real. She wondered if she should have gone about it any differently. She’d never taken anyone’s virginity before…

…except she had, with Liara. Although, that was different. She’s not even sure what to do with the fact she’s a rampant de-virginiser. 

“Yeah, I would.” Shepard sighed and looked up at Tali. “You know I’m still with Liara, right? I haven’t seen her in so long. I don’t know where we stand or what we are or if we’re exclusive or not. We’ve never even talked about it. And part of me doesn’t care, I just want to touch you again.”

She pulled herself away and walked across to sit on the end of the table again. Far enough away to resist the touching, but close enough Tali doesn’t feel she’s running away. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali watched her move away carefully, wanting badly to follow her but the mention of Liara was like a jolt of electricity, a shock of reality. Liara didn’t really deserve this, even if Tali held a small kernel of resentment that she had chosen not to follow. She had given up everything to follow Shepard again. Garrus had lost everyone. Garrus. Why did he keep coming up?

She knew the answer to that.

“I… I know. And I… well Garrus… I don’t know what we are. Or what he wants.” Tali swallowed her fear and followed Shepard slowly, staying just an arm’s reach away from her. “I don’t even know what I want, not really… except you… and Garrus… Keelah that was not the right thing to say.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Hey, honesty is always the best policy, and I did just admit to wanting you and Liara.” Shepard reached out her arms above her head, letting the muscles stretch and the joints click. She’d slept strangely the night before, not used to having someone else in her bed, and everything felt a little out of whack. 

She eyed Tali for a moment while she stretched, almost hungrily, then she said, “I’m not sure what we should do, Tali. I’m still supposed to be talking to Garrus today… What am I meant to say? ‘I warmed her up for you’? ‘Twice’?” The last bit slipped out and she bit her lip. “Heh, sorry. Wishful thinking.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali watched her stretch and had to bite back a moan. Keelah she wanted her so badly right. It was like an itch she could not quite scratch. She needed to talk to Mordin. She needed to talk to Garrus. Maybe Doctor Chakwas. But that wasn’t what she wanted to do right now.

“If you want,” she whispered softly, still gazing at the subtle play of the muscles in Shepard’s arms. “I could talk to Garrus. I-I don’t know what to say either but he… he uh… might be less inclined to…” Keelah she cursed. Why would her mind not work properly. Closing her eyes tightly she forced herself to just say what was her on her mind.

“What if I talked to Garrus instead and we can meet here to talk about it later? See where things are.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

The idea of letting Tali walk out right now was not attractive, so Shepard shook her head. “That’s not fair, though,” she said. “The last thing I want to do is make you talk to Garrus alone. It takes two to tango and we definitely… tangoed. Together, I mean.”

She sighed and rolled her neck around a little. “How about we talk to him together? We don’t even have to tell him what happened if you don’t want to… I kinda want to know his intentions towards my favourite quarian anyway.” She grinned at Tali. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali smiled faintly at Shepard’s concern and courtesy. As horrible as everything was, it was wonderful too. Like a dream with a healthy dash of nightmare, and she found herself kind of not wanting it to end. Except for when she desperately wanted it to end. Her eyes followed Shepard’s rolling head like it was a hypnotist’s pendulum and she found herself nodding without thinking about it.

“That will work. We don’t have to tell him.” Oh she would tell him. It was not fair to keep it a secret. She would just do it when Shepard was not there. It wasn’t really fair to make Shepard sit through that anyway. Wait, what did she just say. “It was you who hacked my omnitool, wasn’t it?” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard stopped with one hand on her neck and eyed Tali. “I don’t know  _what_  you’re talking about,” she said.

She glanced at the clock as she stood up from the desk. “You know,” she said, stepping a little closer to Tali, “we still have a lot of time before EDI turns the cameras back on, and Garrus is probably busy calibrating anyway. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt…” She shouldn’t do this, she really shouldn’t, but she does it anyway. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali tilted her head suspiciously. She still wasn’t completely sure it was actually Ken. And there remained the very valid question of how he’d gotten a recording of Shepard’s voice saying that. The young quarian watched with a touch of shyness as Shepard moved closer, a small thrill running through her.

“I suppose it wouldn’t… hurt anything, no.” She whispered it, but stepped into Shepard, reaching out with one hand to lightly grasp her arm.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard moved forward and put her arm around Tali’s waist, fingers playing against the back of her hips. “Mm, can’t get tried for the same crime twice,” she jested. 

Without warning, she grabbed Tali around the waist and lifted her up into her arms, then she plopped her down on the table with a slightly evil grin. “How do you wanna do this?” she said, smirking. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali gasped slightly and grabbed Shepard’s shoulders excitedly, clinging to her for safety and stability as she was carried to the table. Once she was safely settled, none too gently, she relaxed her grip and stroked her fingers over Shepard’s shoulders.

“Oh I don’t know,” she mumbled softly, unsure if she really wanted to say it, “I rather liked you before… on your knees… in front of me…” She held her breath, waiting for Shepard to laugh at her. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard grinned, biting her lip, and dropped to her knees beside the table. “Like this?” 

She cast her eyes over Tali, then she said, “So in all that  _research_ you did… did you ever find something you particularly wanted to do?”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali blushed darkly beneath her helmet at the Commander’s question. The one thing she most wanted to do, she still couldn’t. Her fever, no matter how mild, meant no new exposures for at least two days. It was almost enough to ruin the moment, knowing that she couldn’t do what she wanted.

“I just… I just wanted to touch you like they do in the vids.” She slid one hand up from Shepard’s shoulder to stroke her long fingers through the Commander’s short hair, remembering how it had felt on her bare skin. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“So touch me then.” Shepard smiled, reached out and rested her hands on Tali’s knees. “I’m right here.” She presses her lips to Tali’s right knee, looking up at the quarian through her eyelashes. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali wanted to do so much more than touch her. She wanted to say ”fuck it” - a phrase her human engineering crew had taught her - and do exactly what she wanted, suit be damned. And as pretty as Shepard looked kneeling in front of her the way she was - was it odd that she thought that was pretty? - it severely restricted her access.

So she surged forward suddenly, pulling Shepard up even as she pushed her back and gently rode her to the floor. Tali landed easily, her suit cushioning the blow of the steel floor on her knees, and she was able to keep Shepard close enough to avoid slamming her into the floor too hard. Unlike the deceptively appearances of the quarians, humans actually were a fragile species.

Tali was already breathing hard as she released Shepard’s shoulders and activated the Nerve Stim program, straightening up over her while she carefully straddled the Commander’s hips. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

If Shepard had been fifteen years younger, she would have squealed when Tali pushed her down. Instead, she made an ungainly grunt and grabbed on to Tali’s hips.

“Hi,” she said, when she stopped wondering if her shoulder was going to stop hurting and instead eyed the rather dominating Tali. If this wasn’t Tali - if she could get to Tali’s face - she’d have pulled her down for a kiss by now. Instead, she just kind of stares at her, with one eyebrow raised in a silent ‘This is new. I LIKE IT.’ 

“Having fun up there?” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali finished keying in the commands for the program and felt it come alive, the sensation of Shepard’s hands on her hips becoming so much more acute. Reaching down she gently rubbed Shepard’s shoulders with both hands, only just barely leaning onto her. Her faceplate hovered just above Shepard’s face.

“Hi,” she whispered back softly before pulling up and away again, letting just her fingers trail over Shepard’s uniform. “Mmm I am. I like this view… except…” Tali couldn’t help but wonder where all this confidence she felt was coming from. Maybe it was because they had, sort of, done this before. Sliding her hands down Shepard’s chest quickly she tugged at her top. “How does this come off?” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Tali’s new found confidence was not only wonderful but also really sexy to Shepard. It’s not that Tali being shy  _wasn’t_  sexy - last night proved that wasn’t the case - but this confident, dominating Tali was something else entirely. 

Shepard liked it. A lot.

“Over my head.” Shepard sat up. “You just pull the bottom up and over.” She directed Tali’s hands to the hem of her shirt.

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali let her hands be guided down and then gripped the bottom of Shepard’s shirt and began pulling it up. Unfortunately, she did not give Shepard room to lift off the floor, which made it a lot harder to remove her shirt. Tali gave a sharp little grunt as she pulled it harder and the fabric gave slightly, tearing several inches up Shepard’s side. She froze and stared at the tear before looking up at Shepard.

Now she was literally destroying the Commander’s things. Keelah she was on a roll these last twenty four hours. She found herself suddenly not caring about Shepard’s shirt and didn’t wait for her to say anything, giving it another hard tug and listening to the satisfying sound of the fabric tearing all the way up Shepard’s side and even down her arm.

“Thats… a little better,” she murmured and let her fingers slide under the now loose fabric to lightly tease the soft skin of her breast. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

The ripping, tearing sound caused Shepard to go completely still for a moment. Then there was eye-contact. She wasn’t really sure what her eyes were saying, but she was positive it wasn’t ‘Go on, rip it, I can get more at the Citadel’. 

Tali is so paying for new shirts. 

The floor was hard under Shepard but she couldn’t quite bring herself to care as Tali caressed her breast. She wondered if her pants were going to get torn too.

Oh, maker, she was going to have to walk out past Kelly with a ripped shirt.

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali hesitated and looked sheepish for a moment, her fingers stilling on Shepard’s breast. She was pretty sure Shepard had not wanted her to tear her shirt like that but it was so exciting. She felt an odd sense of power and tearing that shirt had fed it. She liked that sense.

Her fingers began moving gently over Shepard’s breast again, working ever closer to her nipple as she watched the Commander’s face. Wherever all of this was going, she could not claim she wasn’t enjoying herself. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard grinned when Tali’s fingers moved towards her nipple. It wasn’t that she pre-meditated not wearing a bra and planning to see Tali but… she really did. She figured that was probably one of her worst ideas, but it seemed to have worked wonders, even if Tali didn’t immediately notice the fact she was braless in the cool CIC like she hoped she would.

“Enjoying yourself?” she asked. She kind of wanted to flip Tali over and take her, but she figured that would offset the delicious domination, so instead she just lies there and enjoys. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“Mmm yes,” Tali purred in answer, her fingers finally finding the nipple. She stroked the small bud gently, avoiding giving it any direct attention. She was a quick study and had paid surprisingly close attention to Shepard’s reactions last night. Her free hand gently played with the hem of Shepard’s shirt on the other side of her body.

“So… this is pretty much ruined isn’t it?” She asked, not stopping her attentions to Shepard’s breast. 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard bit her bottom lip. Tali was going to try and kill her, that was her master plan. Screw Reapers, Collectors and Blue Suns, Tali would be the one to take her down and keep her down.

Tali’s words didn’t make sense for a moment, so Shepard just nodded, distractedly and said, “Yeah, yeah, you destroyed it.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali’s eyes lit up and she grabbed a handful of fabric and yanked hard even as her fingers closed on Shepard’s nipple, the tug on her flesh far gentler than the tug on her shirt. The fabric gave, again, and ripped up Shepard’s side just as it had before on the opposite side of her body. Without thinking, she tossed the fabric up so that it folded over Shepard’s face but out of her own way.

“I want to keep your- wait… where’s your… cover thing?” Tali stopped, her fingers stilling momentarily on Shepard’s breast. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

The rip of the rest of Shepard’s shirt was enough to make her cringe, just for a second. Not because of the noise, but because of the realisation that she was shirtless in the conference room.

Shepard blinked. “My cover thing?” It took her a moment to realise what Tali was talking about. “Oh, my bra? It’s called a bra and I… uh. I didn’t put one on today.” She flushed bright red. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“Oh,” Tali frowned, wondering briefly if it was normal human custom to pick and choose when to wear one. She was a touch disappointed; after all, she had really liked the one she was wearing before and had been hoping to quietly make off with this one. Oh well, she’d just have to settle for what she had.

Her fingers returned to lightly teasing Shepard’s nipple while the other began to move slowly up the Commander’s frame, over her strong bare stomach, in a slow trek toward her other breast. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza  Shepard---**

Tali’s slow movements were starting to get frustrating and Shepard was way too turned on to just lie there and take it. 

“Are you planning to take all day?” Shepard asked, with a smirk she truly hoped would convey the fact she was joking to Tali.

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“The Reapers can come back later. I know for fact  _they_  don’t have anything better to do.” Tali teased lightly, a little amazed the even mention of the Reapers did nothing to cool her desire. She was focused solely on Shepard, but there was a slowly building ache between her thighs that she might not be able to ignore much longer.

“I like these, Shepard,” she said it softly, still leaning over the Commander as she applied more pressure to her breasts, tugging gently at each nipple. It was true, even if she put it a bit mildly.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“You and every human adolescent male out there,” Shepard muttered, trying to ignore the fact Tali was turning her on and not really  _doing_  anything about it. “Then again, I’m rather fond of them too.” 

“I like yours as well… even if I can only see them through the suit.” She wasn’t sure if it was the wrong thing to say, but she really did like Tali’s body. 

 

\--- **Tali’Zorah---**

“Every… that is a lot of… Shepard?” Tali’s voice cracked slightly. She was really hoping that had been a joke. Surely mass mating rituals involving adolescents would have shown up in her research. It seemed like humans had an infinite number of sexual permutations, but surely one such as that would not go unrecorded.

“Thank you,” she whispered, distracted by the compliment. It still felt odd to think anyone thought she was attractive. Even after everything. As much as she liked to play with Shepard’s breasts - oh she could do it all day - she could feel the tension rising in the Commander, as well as her own excitement. With a faint groan of displeasure she pulled her hands away and dropped one to the floor.

The other hand gave her nipple one last sharp tug and then began to slowly slide lower, caressing each line of abdominal muscle on the way down. 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard jerked when Tali tugged on her nipple, hips snapping up towards Tali, searching for some kind of contact, friction, anything. When she couldn’t find friction, she pressed them together instead, but the tiny bit of relief only made it worse.

Tali’s hand trailing down Shepard’s side was like some sort of sweet torment. The kind of sweet torment that made her want to shout, scream or rage at the universe. She made a frustrated, choked growl in the back of her throat. “ _Ta_ li…”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali rode the snap and jerk of Shepard’s hips easily, avoiding contact for either of them. She was enjoying the sense of control far, far too much to let it go that easily. It may have been for the best that her faceplate hid the almost sadistic smile the curved her lips. Oh the sounds she was making now. It was like being at Keelah’s side.

It was the growl that undid her resolve. The sound was rough, aggressive like Shepard but it was as close to begging as she might ever bring Shepard. When her hand moved now it wasn’t slow and leisurely, it was swiftly and with purpose. Her long fingers still trailed over Shepard’s warm skin, but they moved quickly to the waistline of her pants. Tali did not tear them, but she was pretty sure the button went flying when she gave the waistband a tug. Zippers were beyond her fingers, as were most human buttons. The second it was loose enough she slid her hand down the front of Shepard’s pants, over her panties and ran a single finger down her slit.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“O-oh fuck,” Shepard groaned. The contact was exactly what she needed, although not quite enough for more than a jolt of pleasure. She bucked her hips and groaned, “Tali,” again. 

She wanted to leave Tali in charge, she did, but the ache between her thighs was building to intolerable amounts, so she reached down and grabbed Tali’s wrist, planning to push it further into her pants. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali almost moaned just from the sounds Shepard was making, the way she said her name. It did odd things to her, made her feel like her insides were melting. It made her want to rub herself against the Commander’s thigh until she found her own ecstacy. But there would be time for that.

She tensed her arm when Shepard grabbed her, resisting her pull. She was not without reason. Tali desperately wanted to fuck Shepard like she had last night. No, not quite like that. She wanted to do it the way she had wanted to do it last night but been afraid to. “Don’t… you need your hands to get your pants off,” she managed to whisper, hoping her own rising need wasn’t too transparent in her voice. “I want to see you when I do it.” 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard nodded, swallowing convulsively and trying not to squirm. She wanted release. She wanted Tali to get her off, now, not turn her on even more with commands. She slid her hand from Tali’s wrist and instead went to her zip, sliding it down. Then she moved her hands to the top of her trousers, lifted her hips and started pushing them down and off. 

“Like this?” she said. It was difficult for her not to just shove her pants down and get herself off with the level of frustration she was feeling.

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali kept her finger moving over Shepard’s slit gently as she watched her wriggle out of her pants. A thrill shot through her as Shepard obeyed. _The Shepard_..  obeying her commands. It was almost enough to undo her right there. She had carefully avoided any contact between her throbbing center and Shepard’s wiggling torso for that reason.

She pulled her hand away for only a split second before replacing it, this time sliding it in under Shepard’s panties. When they proved too restrictive, she grabbed them and tore them with an easy tug. For a moment she stared at the handful of soft fabric, but then tossed them aside. Returning to the job at hand she slid a finger into Shepard quickly while her thumb came to rest over her clit. 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Stripshtu,” was pretty much all Shepard could say when she really wanted to say, “Stop ripping my stuff,” so she stopped bothering to try and speak and instead concentrated on trying to stop her hips from bucking too much. If she wasn’t careful she’d throw Tali’s hand off and that was the last thing she wanted.

“C’mon, Tali, please,” Shepard groaned, pawing at Tali’s upper arms. She needed to be fucked, right now, not teased and tormented. Of course, if she’d been in a sane frame of mind, she’d know that the teasing and tormenting would make the coming even greater, but her mind was currently just begging for release. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Shepard’s indecipherable complaint went completely unnoticed as Tali curled her finger inside Shepard slowly. It felt nothing like last night. Some of the warmth was transmitted, the tightness, but the wonderful sensation of her wetness was gone and it made her a little nervous. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her, and she had heard it was quite easy to do.

Where the complaint went unnoticed, the begging groan flipped a switch in Tali’s brain. She pressed her weight down, still avoiding contact with her own sex so that she could focus, and forced Shepard’s hips to still. Her hand flexed and she began to fuck her rapidly with her finger even as she brought her thumb down to roughly circle Shepard’s clit. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard gasped and tried to buck, grabbing at Tali’s arms and making unintelligible noises. “T-T-T- _Tali_!” she shouted, reaching up and fisting a hand in her own hair, all but pulling it out. 

“Oh  _god_ , Tali. P-Please.” The finger wasn’t quite hitting the spot, not quite. She was on the edge, really close to just falling over, but not… quite… and it was killing her. 

 

\--- **Tali’Zorah---**

Tali was watching Shepard, reveling in how very different she looked now than normally. She loved Shepard like this, possibly more than any other time she had seen her. Keelah, how would she ever survive not being able to do it again?

Shepard’s pleading caught her ears and she shifted herself slightly, curling her finger inside Shepard as she fucked her, her thumb rubbing eagerly over her clit. She willed Shepard to come, not knowing if to say something or what to say if she decided to.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Tali’s finger moved and crooked, landing exactly where Shepard needed it to be. She shouted - way too loudly, considering Jacob and Mordin were but a corridor away - keened and fisted both hands in her hair. 

The shout all but turned into a scream as she came, long and a lot harder than the night before, thanks to all Tali’s teasing, and the scream turned into a broken gasp of, “Tali.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali gasped softly, pausing in her attentions to watch Shepard climax. Keelah but that was beautiful. And the way Shepard said her name…

She couldn’t take it anymore herself now. Still pinning Shepard down she shifted so that she straddled one strongly muscled thigh and pressed herself against it, moaning slowly. Tali’s finger remained inside Shepard, teasing her lightly, while she began to rub herself against Shepard’s leg, moaning softly. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Mm, no.” Shepard sat up and grabbed Tali around the waist, wrapping her strong arms around her small frame. “C’mere.” Still mostly out of it in the brain department, but aware enough to do something about Tali, she pulled the quarian forward until Shepard was lying down again and Tali was kneeling over her, then she slid her hand down and between her legs.

“At least let me help with that,” she said, in a deliberately low voice. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali froze, more than a little surprised, and allowed herself to be pulled up. She settled herself against Shepard’s stomach and looked down at her, once again wishing there was no mask between them. Normally she could compensate with words, but she was utterly incapable of forming coherent sounds right now.

She tried though, tried to tell Shepard to give her what she wanted, but all that came out was a low, frustrated growl. Maybe it would be enough to get her point across. 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard pushed upwards, put pressure at the point she remembered Tali liking and rubbed. She kinda wanted to get down there and put her lips there again, but for now she was more interested in locking eyes with Tali through her mask. Sure, she couldn’t see her face, but she could catch the luminous glow of her eyes. 

She pressed down harder than she normally would and rubbed circles, much like Tali had done with her. She wanted Tali to come, wanted to make her feel good again. She wanted to touch her properly, but this would do too. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali fell forward slightly, catching herself on one hand next to Shepard’s head so that she was hovering over Shepard. She could see her face, but her eyes were unfocused and everything was a little bit blurry. Her hips jerked against Shepard’s hands, forcing the strong fingers to where the sensations felt best and sometimes, too good.

Her breath was coming in soft gasps now, tiny breathless moans that almost overlapped each other in frequency as she got closer. The hand next to Shepard’s head fisted against the floor and she closed her eyes tightly.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard worked her fingers in circles, increasing and decreasing the pressure in no set pattern as Tali gasped. She loved the sound of her breathing, the way her hand fisted against the floor. She could tell she was close and she wanted so much to see her face when she came.

She reached around with her free hand and grabbed Tali’s ass, probably a little too roughly, pulling her in and forward and down until she could lean up and nip at her breast through her suit, a harsh nip, enough to hurt a bit but not enough to damage the suit. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali gasped and jerked against her fingers, feeling for all the world like she couldn’t quite control her own body. Shepard’s hand on her ass drew a louder moan from her and she opened her eyes. Looking back down her own body, watching Shepard’s  teeth meet the mesh of her suit over the her breast. It sent a jolt through and she spasmed, a shaky cry escaping her.

“Shep-” Another moan cut off her off and then she was lost. A soft, keening cry escaped her as she came, shuddering against Shepard’s fingers and mouth. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard rubbed her through her orgasm, not letting up until the shuddering stopped, then she pulled Tali down to the floor beside her and stared up at the ceiling. 

She moved her leg.

“Floor’s wet,” she commented, casually. 

 

\--- **Tali’Zorah---**

Little shocks ran through her, even as she let herself to be pulled to the floor next to Shepard. After several long moments to regain some of her composure she slid a leg over Shepard’s lightly.

“How did the floor- oh…” Tali stopped and mumbled to herself. “Whoosh.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“I’m not a flooding dam, Tali,” muttered Shepard. She yawned and looked around. “I’m lying on the conference room floor, naked. How did my life become this?”

She paused, for a moment, then realised something all but earth shattering. “Tali, you shredded my shirt.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali propped herself up on elbow and glanced down Shepard’s body, a mischevious tilt to her head.

“Are you sure… I remember there being a lot of pent up pressure.” The teasing tone trailed off at the end. “Do… do wish we hadn’t? Keelah, I’m sorry if I went too far. I just… you’re so beautiful and I wanted to touch you. I could touch you all day. And I’m sorry about your shirt-” Tali reached for the barely still attached scraps of the shirt.

“I’m sure I can… fix… it…” Staring at the cloth she realized that not even Keelah could fix that shirt. 

 

\--- **Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Tali.” Shepard flipped Tali over to lie on top of her, pinning her wrists above her head. “I liked it. A  _lot_. You didn’t go too far. If you went too far, you’d know about it. I wouldn’t be lying here all floppy and relaxed.”

She rolled back over onto her back and pulled Tali with her into a cuddle. “My problem is that I have to walk through Mordin’s lab or the armoury, then past Kelly. Commando… and topless.” She eyed her pants for a moment. “And holding my pants up.” 

 

\--- **Tali’Zorah---**

Tali squeaked loudly in surprise and fell back to the deck, raising her hands to meet Shepard’s chest only to find them swept up over head, no longer under her command. Even after only finishing moments ago she felt a rush of desire run through her. Keelah it was like she was possessed lately.

“I… I’m glad. I really liked it too,” she mumbled the last bit and snuggled against Shepard’s side happily. “Oh… I could go to your quarters and get you some clothes? What does Commando mean?”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Commando is a human term for without underwear,” Shepard explained, quickly. “And I’d appreciate that, thank you.”

“ _Would you like me to allow Tali’Zorah access to your cabin, Shepard?_ ”

Shepard froze. “EDI, tell me the cameras didn’t come back on already.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“Oh,” Tali blushed slightly and then froze as the idea of having been filmed. “Oh Keelah… if EDI could see then… Miranda…”

Tali scrambled to her feet rather quickly, as if hurrying out of the room might make the idea of having been captured on film less horrific.

“I… I’ll go get your clothes.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Tali…” Shepard made a ridiculous half-grabbing gesture in Tali’s direction then flopped face-first on the ground. “It’s probably only the last five minutes.” 

She sighed. “But, uh, if you want to get me clothes… underwear. Bra, panties and a shirt. Please.” She grinned up at Tali. “Pick something you like.”

 

\--- **Tali’Zorah---**

Tali looked back at Shepard and burst out laughing when she saw her flop to the ground. It was just too funny to not laugh at the sight of the Commander sprawled out on the floor like that.

“When you said, floppy, I didn’t know you meant literally.” Tali moved closer to the door, just outside the range to open it. “Don’t lay in the wet spot. I’d hate for you to get a cold.” With that she slipped out the of the room, turning toward Mordin’s lab. She needed to speak to him anyway.

Mordin was busy, as always, but she was pretty sure he had a soft spot for it because he always made time to talk to her. In fact, when she mentioned Garrus and Shepard both only casually- he put everything aside to focus on her. It was unprecedented for Mordin. It only took a few minutes to get him to agree to download the information she wanted to her omnitool as well as begin work creating the injections she would need. With a few words of sincere gratitude she left his lab and made her way through the CIC, ignoring Kelly, and to the elevator.

The ride up was as long as ever, but when she stepped into the Commander’s room she felt awkward like never before. Summoning her courage she walked to her dresser swiftly and picked through her things. She was trying very hard not to snoop, but human underthings were proving more interesting than she had anticipated. After several minutes of rooting through Shepard’s underwear she chose a matching bra and panties, soft lavender in color with a lot of embroiderie and lace. They were pretty. And Shepard had said to pick out something she liked.

For a shirt she grabbed the first one off the stack - Shepard looked good in everything anyway - and hesitated when she saw a belt. After only about a second of thought she grabbed that as well. One might think Quarians didn’t understand clothing, but they did. There were ceremonial garments that would be worn on rare occasions over the suit. From the care of those garments, she summoned her memory of folding and managed to compact all the clothes into a very small bundle.

Tucking the bundle under her arm she was leaving Shepard’s room when she glanced at the desk. A portrait of Liara sat there. It was old, from back on the Normandy SR1, but somehow that made it worse. Tali was reminded of how Liara had been then, as young and naive as she was. Well, not as young, but functionally she was. The person she had become in the last couple years didn’t deserve this, but that Liara deserved it even less. And Tali just knew the sweet, sensitive Liara was still in there somewhere. She could sense it. A feeling of intense guilt filled her and she felt an urge to turn Liara’s face away. But this was Shepard’s space, and it wasn’t her place.

Ducking her head she fled the Commander’s room. She didn’t even notice how long the elevator took, or that Kelly tried to stop her with a question. Mordin did not look up at her as she passed back through and before she knew it she was back in the Comm room. Shepard was still passed out on the floor, naked as ever, and Tali stopped again. For several minutes she just watched her sleep. Then the guilt resurged.

“Shepard,” she said it softly, but with just enough weight and edge in her voice to wake her.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard opened one eye and sat up. Then she opened the other one. “Oh, thank god for clothes. My ass is on display for the entirety of Cerberus to see and I’m getting tired of it.” She stood up, facing away from Tali for a moment as she glanced at EDI’s hub.

“Then again, they have cameras in my cabin too.” She stretched out, touched her toes for a moment, then turned back to Tali, holding out her hand for clothes. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali nodded at her silently, staring at the floor as she offered Shepard her clothing. Looking at Shepard right now, naked as she was, was a very bad idea. In fact, the only good idea she had right now was to never look at Shepard again. Ever. That might keep this from happening again. She should be stronger than this.

A blush rose over her cheeks at the idea that both of their escapades had been caught on camera. She could probably get EDI to send her the files- No! She wanted EDI to delete them, forever. Make sure no one ever saw them. Pretend it never happened. Then she wouldn’t have to hurt Liara. Or Garrus. 

But she said nothing, just standing there silently and stewing in her own emotions. And pointedly not looking at Shepard.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard pulled her underwear up her legs and eyed Tali warily. One second, she was all giggly and cuddly and post-coital sweetness and now this. Shepard wondered if this was how it was always going to go. 

 _Sex… Sex me now… That was cool… OH GOD WHAT DID I DO… Guilt._

It was getting old. Shepard kind of wanted to fuck her until she went back into That Was Cool mode, but she resisted the urge and instead reached for her bra.

“Did I do something wrong?”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali finally looked up at her, but didn’t say anything for the longest time. Keelah but she was even more beautiful right after sex. How was that even possible? Her hormones battled with her good sense and once again she felt herself slipping.

“No. No you didn’t do anything wrong, Shepard.” She wanted to gush, to talk it all through. It was a quarian thing. Their body language was over the top and so were their emotions and their dependence on language. Talking was the one thing they could the same as they always had and they did it a lot. There was nothing any quarian loved more than a good argument.

But she didn’t say anything about it. It was her problem. Garrus was her issue to deal with and Liara was Shepard’s. Shepard didn’t seem to feel guilty so she decided that she shouldn’t either. Deciding that was a lot easier than doing it.

“I… really enjoyed this.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard’s face broke out in a grin as she fastened her bra. “Me too,” she said. “We still need to talk to Garrus, but…” She shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact I want to do it again.”

She pulled her pants up her legs and did up the zip. “You have quite a domineering streak to you,” she mused, after a moment. “It’s hot.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Shepard’s smile was slightly infective and she found herself feeling a little bit lighter. Then she mentioned Garrus. Tali was beginning to feel like she was aboard a ship that couldn’t decide if it wanted to crash. Up, down, up, down, left, right, until she wanted to vomit. If this was romance and love she wasn’t sure it was worth it.

That wasn’t fair. Most people were only in love with one other person. Whoa… no she did not just think that. Change the topic. Talk about anything else. Do not talk about love. Just be silent if you can’t keep your mind of it. Tali, do not say a word. Just. Shut. Up

“You think so? I have… I have a lot of ideas.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard grinned even more as she started pulling her shoes on. She still hadn’t put her shirt on, but she wasn’t really in much of a rush. She kinda liked the idea Tali was looking her over and bending down to put her shoes on was giving her a direct line straight down her cleavage. 

“What kind of ideas do you have, exactly?” Shepard smirked. “I’m interested in hearing them.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Keelah that was not what she should have said. Just what the hell was wrong with her?! She needed to talk to Chakwas. Soon. Maybe the fever wasn’t related to her open air exposure. Or to the…other exposures. Maybe it actually came before all of this. Tali could have sworn she had a verbal filter for her own mouth once.

That was completely ignoring the fact that she now seemed to think she was genuinely in love with not only Shepard, but Garrus. She was going to just die if she kept this up. Die of embarrassment.

“I… um… well I saw a vid where someone was…” Tali looked around the room, trying to avoid Shepard’s smirk. Anywhere but at Shepard’s face. “Vids-where-people-were-tied-up.” She said in a rush.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard finally pulled the top over her head, musing this for a moment. She had a feeling it wasn’t Tali who wanted to be tied up, and that interested her more than she realised. She’d always been the one on top in all of her previous sexual encounters, maybe because she was the commander, maybe because she was just a tough bitch and everyone assumed topping was her forte, maybe because she never gave any of them the chance to flip things. 

And now there was Tali. Sweet, innocent little Tali, who wanted to dominate her. And she was honestly on board with that. She thought it would be good to really lose control, just for a while, somewhere safe, somewhere she knew she’d be okay. 

“You want to tie me up?” she said, with a very interested grin as she tucked her top into her pants and did up the belt. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“Keelah yes!” Tali exclaimed excitedly and then froze, realizing what she’d just done. Flinching slightly she dropped her head and cradled her helmet in one hand. As Gardner had taught her, it was out of the frying pan and into the fire with her lately. Try not to confess to loving - no - having  _strong_  feelings for Shepard; accidently end up confessing to a bondage fetish.

“Shut up, Tali,” she hissed soft at herself. Her face was burning hot and she was quite sure she was going to die now.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

If Shepard’s grin got any bigger, it would have taken over her entire face. So, instead, she walked a little closer and said, “I’d like that. A lot.” She scratched the back of her neck for a moment, considering some things. “Although, if we’re going to do this, we’d need to talk about things. Safe words, limits… Things you can’t do, things you’d like to do… Whether it’s just tying up or more… than that… we’d need to talk about this.”

She smirked. “And we’d need to find something to tie me up with. Maybe we should take a trip to the Citadel, been meaning to see Captain Anderson anyway… we could get supplies while we’re there.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali felt like she was burning alive with humiliation and Shepard was… grinning at her. And getting close again. Keelah would she never stop being tempted? She dropped her hand from her faceplate and looked up at Shepard slowly.

“I… I don’t know anything about those sort of things… but… I think… I,” Keelah just say it! “I think maybe a little time might be good too…” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard stopped moving and fell back a pace. “Time?” she said. Did Tali want Shepard to stay away from her? Did she want to stop… Did she… Why did Shepard feel so confused now? Wasn’t it just sex, relieving tension and fun? Why did she feel like Tali was rejecting her? 

“I… Oh.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali felt a crushing weight hit her like a concussion round to the stomach. She was making an even bigger mess of things. Why was everything so very confusing? This was why quarians didn’t have sex! She just knew it. Screw the suits, this was the real reason. The suits were just an excuse. The voices of her old teachers filtered through her head, all of them talking about the dangers of risking attachment to non-quarian species.

“I just… Shepard I don’t,” Tali drew in a shaky breath. This was Shepard’s territory, fixing things and making everything better, or at least she thought it was. “I don’t know which way is up right now. I… like this… I like you… but it’s all… it’s so fast…” she couldn’t keep the weak tremble out of her voice. Damnit, she was not a child. Stop acting like one, crying to her to Captain about a mess she started herself! 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

The hurt didn’t go away, but when Tali started falling apart, Shepard realised her own feelings were well and truly the least important thing in the room. Shepard was a big girl; she’d had heartbreaks (that boy on that one ship, the one she kissed the day she found out they were switching ships again), she’d broken hearts (Kaidan) and she was tougher, stronger because of it. She hadn’t just given her virginity to someone in a relationship with her friend.

“Hey.  _Hey_.” Shepard moved forward and pulled Tali into her arms, holding her close. Just a hug, nothing more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speed this along so fast. I should have been slower. I just… I forgot you weren’t… I forgot you weren’t me. I forgot you feel things more.”  _You haven’t hardened your heart_. 

She wondered what Tali felt when she died, if she cried or raged or just fell apart. Liara took action to bring her back, Garrus disappeared and almost committed suicide by merc. But what about Tali? 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali felt tears well in her eyes and tried to force them to stop, but it didn’t work. She refused to cry now, in front of Shepard like this. Over something so… she didn’t even know what it was. But the tears kept falling and she found herself leaning into the hug Shepard offered. She hadn’t cried since the day they found Rael’s body on the Alarei, but this was nothing like that.

She wasn’t sad, persay. It was just, she felt so much and so many different things right now and she couldn’t take it anymore. Normally she would have talked to Shepard, particularly about Garrus and the entirely new well of emotions inside of her because of him. But she couldn’t now, she had taken that away. Not that she regretted it, precisely, just didn’t know what to make of it. Keelah everything was a mess.

After several minutes of struggling to control her tears she gave up and started to push away from Shepard slowly.

“It’s not your fault Shepard. I’m just… I’m just being… foolish.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard kept her hands on Tali’s arms, unwilling or even unable to give up on the contact all together. “If there’s one thing you’re not, Tali, it’s foolish. It was unfair of me to give in to what I wanted without even considering how  _you_  would feel. You’d never done any of this before and I treated you, emotionally, like you had, and that wasn’t fair.”

“I’ve been here, done this before. Sex, feelings, love, nothing new to me. Except maybe the domination part.” She paused, cleared her throat. “But it’s all new to you and I may have been the wrong person to introduce you to it all.” It was only once she was done talking that she realised she’d used the L-Word. Oh, fuck. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali trembled slightly, but didn’t step completely out of Shepard’s touch, letting her strong hands linger on her arms. Shepard seemed to be willing to take all the blame, and Tali almost wanted to let her. But that wasn’t fair and, as upset as she was, she refused to be any more unfair than all of this already was.

She caught the use of the world love and her stomach did a little flip before she could stop it, but she didn’t call Shepard on it. Tali wasn’t willing to risk being wrong, risk learning that Shepard had simply slipped up. She wasn’t sure she would be able to take it right now. Tomorrow maybe, or the next day, but everything was too raw right now.

“No Shepard. I wanted it too. You didn’t do this, I did.”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard sighed. Tali seemed determined to take the blame for this whole mess and that just wasn’t on. It wasn’t her fault. 

She breathed slowly for a moment before she said, “No, I didn’t. You didn’t either.  _We_  did. As a team, we have done this. Let’s agree on that at least, okay? And the things you do in the heat of passion are always different to the thing you’d do in the calm light of day. Or… space.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali drew in a deep breath, feeling the flow of tears down her cheeks slow down. She sniffled slightly and failed to bite back a soft laugh.

“I think that last part is true, at least… I don’t think anyone will ever believe that I did… that. Not to you anyway.” A faint, slightly choked, giggle escaped her at the thought. “And okay. We’re both responsible I guess.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Well, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone about it, although I think Garrus would believe me if I did. You threaten us enough.” She grinned, although after a moment it faded.

She squeezed Tali’s arm. “We’re going to be okay, Tali. It doesn’t matter what happens next, whether we never have sex again or have sex three times a week for the rest of our lives. We’ll be okay.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali was still sniffling faintly, her tears being slow to dry up. She was finally looking at Shepard, watching her expression carefully. The words sank in slowly, but as she made sense of them she nodded.

“You promise?” Now she sounded like a child again, but she found herself not caring. Enough relationships in her life had been damaged beyond repair, some of them before her life even began, and this one - whatever it might be - was not one she ever wanted to lose. “I don’t… You’re my Captain, Shepard.” It was as close to an ‘I love you’ as she dared. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“I promise. No matter what happens, okay?” She rubbed Tali’s arms, trying to be soothing. “Can’t lose you.  _Won’t_.” She hugged her again, quickly this time. “I think we do need to talk to Garrus, though. Soon.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali smiled and her eyes glowed a little brighter behind her faceplate. This time, she hugged her back tightly, pressing her helmet into Shepard’s shoulder.

“Yes. That… that is what I meant when I said time. I don’t… I don’t want to make it harder to tell him.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Maybe you should talk to him first,” said Shepard, after a moment of consideration. “I’ll need to talk to him no matter what you decide to tell him, but I don’t want to get in the way or make things more awkward than they already are.” She scratched her elbow and considered her options. “If that’s possible.” 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“I-I can do that.” Tali said softly. “But… I’ll send you a message when I’m done. Give you a heads up to how he seems to be feeling. How does that sound?”

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“You’re just scared I’m going to have to start sleeping with a gun instead of you,” Shepard teased with a grin. 

  
 **\---Tali'Zorah---**

She laughed, a short bark of a laugh, but definitely a laugh. Tali was a little surprised, but she felt much better. Not twenty minutes ago she had been convinced her world was coming to an end and now, it was okay. Because Shepard promised it would be.

“I don’t know why you’d have to do that. I always have my shotgun.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

Shepard laughed. “That you do,” she said. “Come on. I was supposed to be on duty half an hour ago. I’ll walk you back to engineering.” She smiled at Tali. 

 

 **\---Tali'Zorah---**

“How about you walk me to the crew level. That’s where Garrus is anyway, plus I should stop in and see Chakwas.” Tali stepped away, but her eyes still shone with the brightness of contented happiness. For the moment, anyway. She moved toward the door slowly. 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“All right, then.” Shepard grinned and headed for the door with Tali. They were in the elevator before she spoke again.

“Ever heard of human handcuffs?” It’s curiosity, mostly, that made Shepard want to ask. She also wanted to tease a little. Either way, it was an interesting question. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali looked at her oddly, but her curiousity was provoked.

“The little metal rings? Yes. I think Garrus has some. Why?” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Oh, nothing.” Shepard looked innocent. “Just… You know. Humans find them enjoyable.”

She paused for a moment as she lift slowly descended. “Garrus has some?” she asked, interestedly. 

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

Tali fussed with part of her suit to keep her fingers busy.

“Handcuffs are used to… bind people, aren’t they? And yes, I’m pretty sure he does. I think he showed them to me once.” 

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“Mm. I find this information interesting, don’t you?” The doors swooshed open. “Here we are,” she said. “I’m going back up to my cabin, I need a shower. I’m all sticky.”

 

 **\---Tali’Zorah---**

“I-I do… And I tried to tell you not to sleep in that damp spot. You could have caught cold. I will send you a message when I’m done talking to Garrus.”

Tali stepped out of the elevator and turned to give Shepard a faint wave before going on her way.

 

 **\---Commander Eliza Shepard---**

“I don’t mind colds. I get chicken soup and a few days off.” She waved back at Tali as she left and leant against the elevator wall as it rose back up towards her cabin.

Her omni-tool flashed. Thane. She tapped out a message and went on her way.


End file.
